Another letter from Will E. Wurkornot has found its way to a hiring manager. McCrabby intercepted the latest note.
______________________________________________
TO: N. T. Idlement
Dear Mr. Idlement:
Thank you very much for meeting with me on Tuesday; I would like to notify you that I plan to accept the CEO position at your company.
While we did not discuss compensation, I assume it will be in line with typical CEO pay, and that will be just fine.
The median CEO compensation is $9,587,000 per year. While I think I'll be better than average, I'm willing to start there.
While your average employee would have to work 244 years (at the current U.S. average income of $39K+ / year), and your minimum wage employees would have to work 636 years, to earn one year of my compensation, please realize that I will work very hard.
In fact, assuming that I will work 60 hours per week (and, I'm willing to do that most weeks, except for the six weeks of vacation you'll provide), I will be making $51.21 per minute. To put that in perspective, I feel I have a good idea about every 20-30 minutes, so you're paying less than $2,000 for every good idea I will bring to the company. I'll keep thinking.
And, don't let the fact that I'll make 24 times what our U.S. president earns in his job sway your thinking. I think I'll do a better job than any of our past 3-4 presidents (and I'll make more in my first year than they all did combined, during all their terms).
After all, David Simon, of Simon Property, received a compensation package of $137 million last year or 14 times what I'm asking. Do you realize that a minimum-wage worker would have to work for 23 years to make what Simon "earns' in one day? He must have a lot of really good ideas.
In fact, Simon made significantly more last year than the combined salaries of the President, Vice President, the cabinet, all supreme court justices, all members of the House and Senate, and all 50 governors, and that didn't count his December check. Of course, how good of a job do we think those people all did? Maybe he was worth it.
That makes me look like quite a bargain. I can start on Monday.
Thank you.
Will E. Wurkornot
Chief Evocative Officer
____________________________________
Check out other "Hiring Manager Letters" at our "POSTS WITH COMMON THEMES" at left...
How 'bout following us on Twitter, or signing up here.. We'd love to see you..
______________________________________________
TO: N. T. Idlement
Dear Mr. Idlement:
While we did not discuss compensation, I assume it will be in line with typical CEO pay, and that will be just fine.
The median CEO compensation is $9,587,000 per year. While I think I'll be better than average, I'm willing to start there.
 |
In fact, assuming that I will work 60 hours per week (and, I'm willing to do that most weeks, except for the six weeks of vacation you'll provide), I will be making $51.21 per minute. To put that in perspective, I feel I have a good idea about every 20-30 minutes, so you're paying less than $2,000 for every good idea I will bring to the company. I'll keep thinking.
 |
| Gimme, gimme, gimme |
After all, David Simon, of Simon Property, received a compensation package of $137 million last year or 14 times what I'm asking. Do you realize that a minimum-wage worker would have to work for 23 years to make what Simon "earns' in one day? He must have a lot of really good ideas.
In fact, Simon made significantly more last year than the combined salaries of the President, Vice President, the cabinet, all supreme court justices, all members of the House and Senate, and all 50 governors, and that didn't count his December check. Of course, how good of a job do we think those people all did? Maybe he was worth it.
That makes me look like quite a bargain. I can start on Monday.
Thank you.
Will E. Wurkornot
Chief Evocative Officer
____________________________________
Check out other "Hiring Manager Letters" at our "POSTS WITH COMMON THEMES" at left...  |
Don't forget to sign up on the left or here (where it says "join this site") so we can see your picture on this site. And follow us on twitter (@curtmacrae), where we don't post much, but we'd love to see you there. McCrabby has gotten hacked twice on Facebook, so we have left that site for good. Sorry...