During the holiday season, some job-searchers get discouraged, angry, depressed. McCrabby wanted to catch that mood. So, while each Christmas, McCrabby attempts to write a Christmas poem that deals loosely with job-searching and maybe brings a smile at Christmas, this one is a little unique. Here is the 2011 version...
Twas the week before Christmas, and all through our shack,
Not a creature was working, or earning some jack.
We hung up the stockings by the boiler with nails,
Hoping to fill them from local Wal-Mart sales.
The children were shivering, the thermostat kept low.
They dreamed of a present or two, but just didn't know.
And the Missus looked fine, in her flannel and socks,
McCrabby was planning a heist, and loading his Glock.
When all of a sudden, there was a noise at the door
A glass shattered hard, and Missus M hit the floor,
I sprang from the bed with my Glock on my hip,
To protect family and stuff, I'd loaded my clip.
The moon lit the door, as I fired two rounds,
And then it got quiet, there were no other sounds
I threw open the door to see who we'd feared;
Santa had taken one in the shoulder, and one creased his beard.
We had not a fireplace, so he'd tried the front door,
He jiggled the knob and then he jiggled some more.
He should have known that the economy had died
And that desperate people would be gun-fortified.
But the jolly old guy was now bleeding and shot,
he shouted, and called me some names, he was hot.
He seemed to forget about Donner, Blitzen, and Cupid;
He just kept asking how I could be so stupid.
But as EMS came, and they wheeled him away,
We asked him what to do with his sleigh.
He seemed to lose interest, or maybe the pain hit him hard
He threw out three more curse words, then passed out in the yard.
It was then that I noticed a noise on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
I thought to myself, the shingles might leak
From the hooves and the pawing, from the eaves to the peak.
So I climbed up the trellis, my rifle in tow,
I also took with me my arrows and bow.
Hunting season was over, but this was fair game
Because they were trespassing; I took careful aim.
As I took my position, all ready to fire
I noticed a glow from the head reindeer -- like fire.
His nose was aglow, and it softened my heart.
I just couldn't fire, it gave me a start.
But, as luck would have it, the other eight prey
Had no glow on their noses, while strapped to a sleigh.
So it only took eight shots, to clear off the roof
And now we had venison, more than enough.
Though the income has been slow, and gifts may be rare
We'll have plenty of food, the freezer won't be bare.
Santa should have known that we'd be packing this year
Cause we don't have much, but we're keeping our gear.
So Christmas this year, might be different for you,
Cause the reindeer are gone and Santa is too,
For awhile at least, until rehab is done,
He shouldn't have messed with a guy with a gun.
All the best to your family and holiday cheer,
We're sorry about presents, but don't shed a tear
Cuz it's the spirit of Christmas we should celebrate;
Not presents and how much turkey we ate.
So, our wishes for all are to celebrate the season,
Keep your guns at your side, and don't give me a reason
To defend what is ours and all we hold dear,
And to keep it all safe as we start the New Year.
Happy Holidays.
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NOTE: McCrabby has been away from the blog for a bit, during a physical move to new office and home locations. The phones now work, email is functional, printers are working -- we're back in biz... Contact McCrabby any time. You can read about the move in previous posts.