0 Tell Oprah... I can do that job... No celebrities needed



Oprah narrates lots of things: this is for Discovery Channel

 Tell Oprah... 
     I can do that job...

McCrabby's rant for the day:  Why is every voice-over, every reality show, every narration job, every cartoon voice, filled by a celebrity who already makes more money than anyone can spend?

Think about it.  Johnny Depp is the new voice of a cartoon movie character called Rango.  Did that really need to be Johnny Depp?  How 'bout McCrabby?  He can do voices, and does them quite often when telling stories to his three-year-old granddaughter.  They're really good voices.

Oprah narrates for the Discovery Channel, and a bunch of other broadcasts.  How much do they pay Oprah?  Here's betting that McCrabby could read the narration text as well as Oprah, and probably for less money.  Many people never even realize it's Oprah, so what does that buy the network?  McCrabby is a really good reader.

Pierce Brosnan narrated the excellent travelogue movie called "Oceans."  McCrabby saw that movie, and liked it, but there was not one word he could not pronounce in the entire movie. 

Even reality shows have celebrities.  Survivor had Jimmie Johnson (super bowl-winning coach) and Biggest Loser has Rulon Gardner (Olympic Gold Medalist).  McCrabby  has lost a lot of weight, and would have really worked hard to lose a little more.  Dancing with the stars (they aren't REAL stars, but they're still probably richer than most), has had pro athletes, Olympic champions and Paul McCartney's wife.... Hmmmmm

Apprentice?  It used to be for hard-working business people who wanted to get ahead.  Now, it has Gary Busey and Meat Loaf fighting it out, and it's now called Celebrity Apprentice (no, McCrabby doesn't watch it, but saw previews).  That just doesn't seem right.

Maybe we should start these programs:

• NBA Jeopardy, for basketball players who make at least $10 million/year (average NBA salary was $5.8 million /year in 2009 -- that's the AVERAGE, folks!!! -- $223,000 every other week for those of us seeking a paycheck)
• Academy-award winner dating game, where high-paid movies stars could sleep with one-another, for prize money
• Extreme Makeover - Celebrity Kitchens, where Hollywood stars get their kitchens remodeled for free



Lindsay w/o bling... in the clink

• Celebrity Shop-lifting, where the camera follows talents like Lindsay Lohan, who steal valuables, and then get released when stores decide they want talents, like Lindsay Lohan, to where their stuff
• Skank cab, much like Cash Cab, but where only the most obscene and obnoxious celebrities can ride in the cab -- premier will have Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears and Lindsay Lohan testing their range of intelligence (Wow, two Lindsay Lohan references in the same bullet list!!)
• Bachelor Quarterbacks, where high-paid quarterbacks compete for the attentions of $20,000-day-super-models (then the winners try to figure out why they deserve more money) 

So, tell Oprah, or the Donald, or Pierce or Lindsay (last reference to her) that McCrabby is  available, knows how to read, does a few voices, and can tell a story; he is very reasonably-priced.  Have them send an email to mccrabby@humantransitions.com.  We'll get right back to them.

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