Hidden Interview Messages
This is the interview, with the questions, and then the real thoughts behind those questions... And, the answers, and....
Hiring Manager: So tell me about yourself (I have to be here, I have to ask something so go ahead, and babble some incoherent story of your work history, combined with some boring comments about your goals in life -- what time is it anyway??)
Job Applicant: Well, I have twelve years of sales experience in the IT industry, I'm a certified project manager, was employee of the year four of the last five years, and I'm married with three great kids (I know you don't care, but I have to get this elevator speech out -- I was the only salesman, but that makes me number one, and my main goal is to get through this ordeal -- I should have been employee-of-the-year five years, but that would sound like bragging; I wish I'd eaten lunch before I got here).
HM: Very impressive, where do you see yourself in five years? (In about 20 minutes I hope to be in the hammock at home, sippin' on a cool one--I won't be here in five years, so why do I care about where he'll be?).
JA: I hope to continue to make progress in my career, take on more responsibility, and assume more of a management role in the company (Is he kidding? Does he not know what the job market is like? I'm 56 years old, desperate, my unemployment is running out, my wife thinks I'm a loser, and I'm willing to work in this hell-hole, if he'll hire me... for 50 per cent of what I used to make -- I think that was a good answer).
HM: I see. Can you describe a weakness in your work that you're trying to address? (I know where this one always goes -- "I put too much of me into my work," or "I sometimes take on too much, instead of getting others to share the load." Why does management even make me ask this inane question? Yawn...)JA: I've been asked that before (by every idiot hiring manager in the world -- where's your ingenuity, you jerk?) and I've given that a lot of thought. I know that some people will answer that they work too many hours, or some weakness that they think you'll perceive as a strength, but I'd have to say that I sometimes take on too much work, instead of getting others to share the load. I need to count on the team more. (Wow, that was good; he won't see through that one...).
HM: OK, last question: Why should we hire you when we have so many qualified candidates? (In fact, I already know we aren't hiring you; you're too old, you gave me canned answers, your tie is crooked, I just don't like you much; let's just end this now).
JA: I think that's an easy one. I care more than anyone else, I want the job, I have great experience (I hope I'm not too old), and I'm ready to go now (I hope that's not seen as desperate). You can skip any further interviews -- I'm your guy!! (Assertive, positive, confident -- that's how they said to do it in that workshop I attended).
HM: Thank you; we have several other candidates to process, and we'll be getting back to you soon (Six months sounds about right... Or, NEVER!!)
JA: Thank you; I enjoyed our talk (Yeah, right...), and I look forward to hearing from you soon (Yeah, right...). I truly think you'll be impressed with my work, once I get started (Assertive, positive, confident, assumptive -- oooh, that was a good one). Good Bye.
HM: Good Bye (And, another one bites the dust -- where are my car keys?)...
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What hidden comments can you reveal in your interviews?
And now, since it's the weekend, here is a re-run of McCrabby's favorite old interview video of all time -- it may be a little too realistic in today's environment, but take another look; maybe you'll smile.
Good luck on your job-search...
NOTE: Wanna connect??
See all contact info HERE
See all contact info HERE
